Reflections on an Orthodox Funeral

I will always remember Caryn for her glowing countenance and her love for everyone, especially the children. When I first met her, I didn’t even know she had cancer.  She never complained, even though I knew she suffered greatly.  Last week she breathed her last on this earth.

Caryn’s was the first Orthodox funeral I’ve attended.  It was sorrowful, but the service was so beautiful and reminded me of heaven. And there was such comfort in the ancient words, not only of the Scriptures, but also of the memorial service itself.  I knew we were using the same words that have been used at services for nearly two thousand years.

We began the night before at the funeral home with a “panikhida” or vigil (what some people might call a “wake”). The familiar Trisagion prayers (see a previous post) were followed by special prayers, psalms and hymns for the dead. Here are two of the hymns:

Thou only Creator Who with wisdom profound mercifully orderest all things, and givest unto all that which is useful, give rest, O Lord, to the soul of Thy servant who has fallen asleep, for she has placed her trust in Thee, our Maker and Fashioner and our God (Troparion).

With the saints give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Thy servant where sickness and sorrow are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting (Kontakion).

Father James reflected on Caryn’s life, and we sang “Memory Eternal.” Afterwards, we ate a small amount of Kolyva, or boiled wheat and nuts sweetened with honey and a powdered sugar covering. The wheat is a symbol of resurrection, as mentioned in John 12:24:  “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

Today was the funeral, which was held at the Greek Orthodox Church, where Caryn also attended. All three Orthodox priests in town officiated, wearing white to symbolize our hope of the resurrection. Once again, the service was beautiful, including the ancient Byzantine chants by the church’s chanter and two men singing the “ison.” The Scripture readings were about resurrection: I Thessalonians 4:13-17 and John 5:24-30.  Each priest gave a remembrance of Caryn, and we sang “Memory Eternal” in both Greek and English.

Afterwards a friend from choir drove our godparents, my husband and me to the cemetery in a small town north of the city. As we passed drought-stricken corn bordered by bright yellow late-summer sunflowers, we remembered Caryn’s life and recalled the love she showed to all.

At the casket was being brought to the grave, we sang the Trisagion Hymn--Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal Have Mercy on us"--and then our choir friend sang “Memory Eternal” one last time. Fr. Nick placed ashes on the grave, and we each filed past to place a bit of dirt on the grave.

Afterwards we returned to the church for a traditional feast of plaki (fish and vegetables) as a symbol of mourning and fasting. But we also had red wine and baklava left over from Saturday’s Greek Festival, and enjoyed conversation.The fellowship of good friends brings healing at a time like this, and there is nothing quite like the feeling of family at an Orthodox church.

“Give rest O Lord to the soul of Caryn, who has fallen asleep.”

“May her memory be eternal.”

This video gives a taste of what an Orthodox funeral is like:

How to make Prosphera (Orthodox Holy Bread)

The bread used in communion is a special  bread, that is baked every Saturday in preparation for liturgy.   It is stamped with a special seal before it is baked. Here is what I learned at a recent prosphera baking workshop.

Ingredients:

• 1 package yeast (or 2 ½ teaspoons yeast)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 1/2 cups flour
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• Holy water

First cross yourself and begin with a prayer. Pour a little holy water in the bowl and make the sign of the cross in the bottom of your mixing wold. Then pour a half a cup warm water in the bowl and add the yeast and salt. The salt preserves the prosphera and is food for the yeast.  I was surprised that there was no sugar in this bread, since I’ve always used sugar as food for yeast, but salt is enough food to get the yeast started. When  the yeast is softened, add the other cup of warm water and begin to add the flour one cup at a time. Save ½ cup for kneading.

 

Begin to knead the dough in the bowl, then turn it out on a floured surface and knead thoroughly, adding more flour if needed. Knead in a prayerful manner. Start with the Jesus prayer and go on to pray for your loved ones and members of your church while kneading.

When the dough is dense, but still workable, make it into a ball and place in the bowl. Make the sign of the cross into the dough with the side of your hand, and cover it with a damp cotton towel. Let rise until double in a safe, warm place. This should take about an hour and a half. It’s important to keep the dough moist so it doesn’t develop a crust on top.

When the dough is about doubled in size, punch it down and prepare your bread. 

Large loaves are more common in the Greek Orthodox churches. To make a large loaf, line a 9-inch cake pan or pie pan with parchment paper. Lightly roll out the dough until it is just smaller than the size of the pan. Place dough in pan (lined with parchment paper), dust top with flour and press the seal into the dough. Let dough rise about a half an hour, then bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Small loaves are typically used by the Russian and Slavic Orthodox churches. To make small loaves, take about 2/3 of the dough and roll the dough out.  Use two canning lids or cookie cutters, one slightly larger than the other. Cut five large circles out of the first piece of dough, then take the remaining dough and cut five smaller circles.





Place the large circles on a parchment-lined cookie sheet. Place a small amount of holy water in a bowl. Dip your finger in the holy water and make the sign of the cross on each circle. Then place a small circle on top of each circle. NOTE: Do not throw the holy water down the drain.  You can either drink it or pour it on a plant.

Press the small end of the seal onto the top circle. Then take a toothpick and pierce four holes through both layers, starting at the middle of the top of the square, then in the middle of the bottom, the middle of the left side and the middle of the right side. Let rise about a half an hour and bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

The small loaves look a little like the swiebach my mother used to make, but that is food for a future post.